I am so tired

I am so tired

I just want to rest

Joy is what I desired

But I have never been so blessed

And despite being asleep

Despite being awake

I can still feel it creep

The painful heartache

I am so tired

I feel so very blue

So who should I turn to

When there’s no one in my view?

And no matter how hard I try

I’d rather suffocate and die

Because I truly cannot bear

The thought of asking others for air

I am so tired

Of not being what they asked for

So lately I have admired

This caused pain so much more

Because I know that it is filthy

But I still think it feels great

And I know it isn’t healthy

But it helps me navigate

I am so tired

So please don’t take me away

Don’t act like I’m retired

And hang me up for display

Because I don’t want any help

Before taking my last breath

And I have never let out a yelp

Because I’m not afraid of death

I am so tired

I feel extremely sick

Has the food I ate expired?

Or is my anxiety just this thick?

I decided to ease it

Before I had an attack

Now my skin is being split

And my vision turns all black

I am so tired

Yet I still have to resist

A reply is now required

So tell me, why even exist?

I feel like such a bother

No matter what I’m doing

But even if you're my mother

You can’t force me this improving

I am so tired

No need to count any sheep

I am so very tired

Could you please just let me sleep?